Noah has a Mom (Joely Richardson) and a pesky little sister named Emma (played by the entirely adequate seven-year-old, Rhiannon Leigh Wryn).Noah’s Dad (Timothy Hutton) works too much at his lawyer job.We also get some establishing scenes where we learn that: School is over now, and it’s time for Easter Vacation ! Noah goes to Whidbey Island for Easter Vacation, which his Bad Friend™ thinks is very lame. He is also very into Pink Floyd and transcendental meditation and magical mandalas. Rainn Wilson is A Science Teacher who is very into DNA and genetic code. Regardless, this is lazy and distracting. WTF, The Last Mimzy? Upon deeper thought I think they’re just doing this because they want Rainn Wilson to be specifically A Science Teacher so that he can provide skepticism to all the magical mandala shit to come. I feel like the earliest this starts is in sixth grade, but it definitely doesn’t happen in elementary school, right? Because elementary school has students aged 5-12 and can you imagine five-year-olds getting where they need to go in a five-minute passing period? I can’t. We’re going to take a big WTF aside to discuss this: How old were you when you started going to a school that had individual classes? Like class periods and passing periods and the school trusted you as a child to get to each of your different classes? I was 12. Good thing we’re about to go to science class, where we meet Rainn Wilson, Noah’s science teacher. Through a conversation with his friend who is a Bad Kid™, we learn that Noah is a Stupid Idiot Who Hates School and Hates Science the Most. This moment is so bizarrely discordant that it feels worth bringing up, but really the metal detectors are just a backdrop to meeting Noah (terribly acted by Chris O’Neil), our young protagonist. We’re then treated to an abrupt CUT TO of elementary school children entering school through metal detectors. The moment is confusing, but settle in because we are only a minute and a half into this goddamn movie. The above narration plays while a scientist in a very poorly lit lab puts magical mandala things into a magical mandala box, and then puts the magical mandala box into a portal or some shit. He had tried many times, and he knew he could only try once more. But a great scientist was trying to save us. “A long time ago the soul of our planet was sick.
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I’ve seen this movie three times, and I still had to look up this scene on YouTube and watch it about five more times to even try to summarize for you. Unfortunately, this moment zips by so quickly, and the mythology of the story is so bat-shit-nutso, that a viewer cannot actually internalize any of this information. The teacher then invites the children to ‘all tune in together’ and begins communicating with The Flower Children telepathically, because the director really wants us to know that mandalas are magic and so are children.Īnyway, the teacher then takes 30 seconds to try to tell us what this movie is about. The Flower Children are gathering flowers and arranging them into a mandala, which they then sit around as their teacher calls them to class. The Last Mimzy opens with a lovely overhead shot of children scampering through a field of wildflowers.
I hope you enjoy our descent into Mimzy Madness. Yesterday, barely recovered from our viewing three months prior, Jacob and I sat down to re-re-view this shit for my very first 10YA.
He was ready for a trip down terrible movie lane. His sense of humor is deeply informed by late night Surge -fueled Mystery Science Theatre 3000 marathons during his teen years. You see, Jacob has a beautiful soft spot for terrible movies. I presented the trailer to my husband Jacob saying, “Do you want to watch this truly terrible children’s film? It has Rainn Wilson’s bare ass. Comcast’s On Demand services presented me with a list of Free-To-Me movies, one of which was the “children’s movie” (more on that later) The Last Mimzy, which I sort of remembered seeing many years prior. In late 2016 I was very sick and casting about for something to watch as I lay on the couch. She dares you to count how many times she uses the word “mandala” in this re-view. Actor/director/producer Jillian Boshart makes her 10YA debut with The Last Mimzy.
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